Affix all the labels to the correct things.
Although this task didn’t mention that you couldn’t use Photoshop, I was hoping to complete it without, for my own satisfaction. However the Taskmaster (‘s Assistant)’s loose deadline of Christmas proved too soon for a man of my procrastinational bent.
So here they are, 100 labels attached to things. I’ve tried to use images that I hope are public domain or whatever, so hopefully I won’t have to take any down due to copyright!
Dancing – Wet Suit – Famous Footballer – Adrian
A Silly Book
Wipes
Turnip
A Pretty Bell
Tan Line
France – Treaty – Gold – Brass – Lawyer
Rollerskates – Ridiculous Frog – Lorry
Too Many Socks
Half Full Jar – Slime (20 labels)
Hen – Axle Rod – Smile – Henman
Mortar – Pestle
Moustache – Broken Umbrella
Clogs
Mistake
Mountain
Blue Drink
Dog – Cue – Opening – Baize – Nice Pipe – Pool
Tripe – Summit (40 labels)
100 Lire Note
Cape – Cloak – Poncho
Monocle – Helmet
Doctor – Friend
Swamp – Rollercoaster – Queue
Starfish – Brave Tattoo
Lozenge
Clasp – Clamp – 20 Teeth – A Heap – Clump – Shavings (60 labels)
Bras
Gravy – Steam – Aunt
Henna – Technology
Treasure – Braces – Sword
Excellent Magnet – Maze 
Sick Bag – Brilliant Bags (by Lydia Leith)
Old Food – Mound – Graze – Swill
Fig Leaf – Pine – Dock Leaf (80 labels)
Exam – Bunsen Burner
Floss – Milkshake
Special Glove – Bling – Waxwork – Dimple
Mead – Wink
Treat – Pancake – Cones – Soup – Seaweed
Ice Cube (with a frozen frozen pea)
Bad Flag – Something Scary – Bone – Black Cake
I invented this delicious Guiness Marmite Chilli Lime Cake for this task and here’s the recipe if you fancy something tasty!
Ingredients
400g caster sugar
275g plain flour
250ml Guinness
250g unsalted butter
180g cream cheese
170g chilli cream cheese
150ml sour cream
150g icing sugar
125ml double cream
75g cocoa powder
a fist of fondant icing
the juice of 3 limes
the zest of one zime
2 large eggs
2tbsp Marmite
2.5tsp bicarbonate of soda
1tbsp vanilla extract
Method
Preheat you oven to 160 Fan (or equivalent).
Chuck the Guiness, Marmite and butter into a saucepan and heat gently, until the butter’s melted, then throw in the caster sugar and the cocoa.
Next beat the sour cream, eggs and vanilla, then add that to the pan too.
Combine the bicarb with the plain flour and sieve it into the pan, mixing as you go.
Once you’ve got an even consistency, separate the mixture into two small, square, greased and papered baking tins and slam them into the oven, until they’re done (usually about 35-40 minutes).
Let the cake halves cool on a wire rack.
Whisk together the cream cheese, the chilli cream cheese, the double cream, the lime zest, the lime juice and a couple of spoons of flour.
Once the cakes have cooled, slap the creamy stuff onto the top of one of them (you won’t need it all), then gently stick the other one on the top of that. Make a skull and crossbones from the fist of fondant icing and add it to the top.
Serve with a dollop of leftover creamy stuff.
nathan.show 